Larry and I attempted to boogie board in the ocean today (and if anyone can teach us how to boogie board, or at least give us some pointers, I would appreciate it, because we’re clueless.) Our “boogie boarding” consists mostly of just jumping around in the waves, interspersed with getting pummelled by the waves as we attempt to “ride them”. We were about 1/2 mile out (ok, maybe more like 15 yards), and there happens to be a sand bar there, so I was standing about, looking like I knew how to boogie board, when all of a sudden something started biting me! Something big! Well, it was more like it was gumming me, because I didn’t feel any teeth, but if there would have been teeth it would have taken out my entire calf, it was that big. So naturally, I FREAKED out, as can only be expected when you are being attacked by a giant sea monster. I screamed bloody murder and started charging my way to the beach. I just barely made it back to safety. I think the entire beach heard me.
About two minutes after I nearly escaped mutilation by sea monster, we saw dolphins swimming the same distance out from the beach as we had been boogie boarding. We saw these same dolphins swimming and splashing farther out earlier this morning. As I recounted the story to my mother, she told me tales about dolphins who like to bite humans. I had no idea that these cute, jumping, playing dolphins were actually evil biting dolphins intent on seeking out innocent boogieboarding humans. Who knew that dolphins like to BITE people?
Comments 8
You crack me up! I just love you!
Posted 06 Oct 2006 at 7:00 pm ¶You brighten my day with this good stuff.It gets better with every trip!!
Posted 07 Oct 2006 at 10:13 am ¶Alkynes have a terminal hydrogen that is appreciably more acidic than hydrogens on alkanes and alkenes.
Posted 07 Oct 2006 at 6:39 pm ¶Bethany, just to clarify: I did not say that dolphins BITE humans. Marge (Gramma Bett) told me they like to PUSH people around for fun, with their mouths. So you were probably just being moved over a bit by the dolphin, but , of course, you did not know about their proclivity for moving people when you were out there in the surf.
Posted 08 Oct 2006 at 3:21 pm ¶Ok, yes, you did say “push,” but “gruesomely bite” is so much more dramatic. And I swear, I actually felt something clamp its mouth around my calf and then my thigh. Do they push people with their mouths open?
Thanks for commenting, Aunt Char and Aunt Tam! I’m so glad that you are reading and enjoying the blog! And Brandon, I don’t know what you are talking about, but it sounds impressive.
Posted 08 Oct 2006 at 4:44 pm ¶You were nuzzled by dolphins! I’m so jealous!
Posted 09 Oct 2006 at 11:37 am ¶I would have been terrified too, but how many people can get to say that they “swam” with dolphins ;O). If you get that boogie boarding thing down they might actually think you are one of them!
Posted 31 Oct 2006 at 6:00 am ¶I have just been sitting here enjoying your wonderful blog. have to say you missed your calling. what a natural talent for writing and entertaining people.my big tummy hurts from laughing
Posted 29 Jul 2008 at 9:28 am ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1
[...] time around, I didn’t get attacked by a single dolphin or bird like last time we went to the Outer Banks and I was gruesomely attacked by an angry gang of killer dolphi…, and then a gang of evil rabid birds flocked around me and tried to peck my eyes out. To be fair, [...]