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How to Feel Like A Complete Jerk

Yesterday I went to the grocery store after work and picked up, oh, a gazillion things. I went to checkout lane number five, and it looked just like every other checkout line. I unloaded all my items onto the cart and waited my turn. The cashier informed me as she began scanning my items that she was an express lane. Fifteen items or less. Uhhh…..I apologized profusely and looked for the sign that I clearly missed. You know how most grocery stores have “express lane” lit up right above the lane number? Well, this place did have a giant sign that said express lane, but it was a plain old sign hanging from the ceiling, and it just sort of blended in with the background.

I felt like a total jerk. I just stood there, eyes downcast, avoiding the stares of the people in line behind me. So glad that the cashier was speedy and had all the produce SKUs memorized. And to get just maybe a little sympathy, I opened my coat a little so people could see my growing pregnant belly, and take pity on me. It may have worked, because no one said anything mean or threw any rotten tomatoes at me.

Comments 3

  1. suicide_blond wrote:

    oh no..i know how you feel…. i did that once..when i was in a grocery store that i dont usually go to… and a really mean and super LARGE “lady” with only one pie… got all mad..i tried to explain saying i was sorry… this isnt my usual store… she just stomped her feet and said…”i guess since you dont USUALLY shop here…that means you cant read?” i was mortified…THEN.. when the cashier asked if i had a “Bonus CArd” and i said no… he asked the mean lady for hers!!!! OMG… she was mad….
    anyway… glad nobody was mean..i think the big lady with the pie scarred me for life…
    xoxo

    Posted 16 Jan 2008 at 11:00 am
  2. Sharkie wrote:

    HA! Way to work the pregnancy card. I was once in the store where the guy behind me had a gazillion items in the express line. As I was gathering my bags to leave, I heard the store clerk say “uh, sir, this is the express line and you should not be here”… to which he replied, without missing a beat, “Oh, I’m sorry, I got educated in DC public schools.”

    Posted 16 Jan 2008 at 2:24 pm
  3. Bethany wrote:

    I never thought to pull the “i can’t read good” line! Ha!

    Posted 22 Jan 2008 at 9:21 am