Any Day Now

  • Posted on March 30, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. NO Baby. Not yet.

We’re all ready to go–we put the final touches on the nursery, installed the car seat, and packed the hospital bag. Now we just wait.

I’m feeling huge and a bit uncomfortable. I can put socks on, but I can’t really cross my legs anymore. I’ve given up putting lotion on my legs because bending over makes my back hurt. My feet and ankles are so swollen they look like butternut squashes. And OOOOOHHHHH the pressure. The baby is head down, on my bladder. I can feel her little butt wiggling at the top of my stomach. My back aches.

Enough complaining. The pregnancy hasn’t been bad at all, and I really do like being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move inside me. And lucky me, I never got nausea, heartburn, indigestion, or any other of those symptoms. Some stretch marks and swelling, and that’s about it. Oh yeah, and my PREGNANT NOSE.

People still say that I’m “glowing” and that I look like “the happiest pregnant woman they’ve ever seen.” I think they are mistaking a pregnant glow with my permanently flushed face and gigantic red nose. A cashier at the grocery store asked me when I was due, and then she told me she knew I was having a girl. When I asked how she knew that, she said she could tell by my nose. AAAHHH. Yes, it’s swollen and red. How does that mean I’m having a girl?

I’ve discovered that people have no qualms about what they say to me. Adults, not kids, say the darnedest things. Some of my favorites include:

  • “Are you having twins? You look like you are having twins.”
  • “Are you okay? You look sick, like you are about to throw up.” *(see note above about not experiencing nausea.)
  • “How many are in there?”
  • “I hope you have your bag packed and in the car.” (as he slowly backs away from me, like I’m going to get birth goo on him right then and there).
  • “Are you sure there’s only one in there? That’s what they told my mom, and then out came me and my twin brother.” (coming from a man who is 55 years old. There have been advances in technology since 1952.)

38 1/2 Weeks

Dressed up for Amy’s wedding, 38 1/2 weeks pregnant

The Nursery--Finished!

The nursery

Millionaire Slacker

  • Posted on March 5, 2008 at 8:06 pm

I am a complete SLACKER. It’s been far too long since I updated the blog. But for a good reason: besides the whole growing a baby thing, I’ve won several online lotteries!!! Lotteries that I didn’t even enter! It must be the internet lottery fairies signing me up for all these great contests. I’ve been spending my days and nights dreaming up how I am going to spend all my winnings!

I’ve received these winning notifications in my inbox. Just look at all these fabulous prizes:

  • Mark Dulle, Online Coordinator for THE BRITISH LOTTERY, informed me that I won 590,983.00 British Pounds from BRITISH ONLINE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY.
  • I was notified by Mr. Marcus Green, that I won £500,000.00 and a new Model Range Rover car in the Range Rover Automobiles Lottery.
  • Then, I won ANOTHER Range Rover from the ONLINE LOTTERY SWEEPSTAKES PROMOTION just a few days later!
  • I got an email saying that I won a lump sum pay out of Euro (One Million Euros) from the Euro Millions Lottery Winners International E-mail programs.
  • I won a total sum of£516,778.00 (Five Hundred and Sixteen Thousand,Seven Hundred and Seventy Eight Pounds Sterling) from UK NATIONAL LOTTERY, Sweepstakes International program.
  • Most recently, Mr. Mou Xinsheng from China wants me to receive money on his behalf. This one is definitely the most cryptic of all messages, but it could be promising!!

Can you even believe how lucky I am? I am so busy though, I haven’t had the time to contact these lottery programs to claim my prizes. If anyone wants to claim them on my behalf, I would be glad to forward you the email addresses of the esteemed gentleman that originally contacted me. There are some great pointers on collecting the prizes on this website, with examples on how to engage in a long, meaningful dialogue with the scammers lottery managers.