I Need to Stop Judging People’s Hair

  • Posted on May 20, 2009 at 9:39 pm

It seems that every time I make a comment about someone’s hair I make an ass out of myself.

Yesterday at work I was sitting in a meeting next to a team member, and I happened to look over and see a single gray hair poking out of her black hair, in that way that wiry gray hairs bend and poke. I made a comment to M. about her gray hair “M.! You have a gray hair!” or something like that–and she had no idea it was there. She was heartbroken. She made me pull it out. She’s only 23. I felt like I aged her 30 years in my single little comment.

And then today, I was in the elevator and a woman stepped on with a cute short bob.

Her: “I love your skirt–I noticed it in the meeting this morning.”

Me: “Why thank you!” (curtsying). “And I was noticing your hair–it’s so sleek and smooth! And the highlights are perfect! What’s your secret?”

Her: “Actually, it’s a wig. I used to be a cosmetologist.”

Me: (gulpohshit) “I never would have guessed! I was going to ask you what hair products you use! It looks so nice, maybe I need to rethink my entire hair strategy and try some wigs!”

Just listen to that idocracy. I need to just stop talking about hair in general. Starting now.

The Stella Silhouette Project–Now You Can Own Your Own Silhouette!

  • Posted on May 10, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Help me, I think I’m turning into a crafter.  After completing the $3000 purple sweater,I made this silhouette of Stella to mark her first year:

The entire time I worked on it Larry made fun of me and asked me if I wanted to go back to Kindergarten. However, I am really happy with the final result! I even got some eyelashes and stray hairs! This is definitely not the work of a kindergartner. The cutting alone is at least a fifth-grade level!  And the painting and gluing!  Hello, I have skills beyond kindergarten, yes?

My plan is to do a silhouette every year for her birthday. And then move into a house with a really long hallway so I can line them all up.

This project was significantly less time-consuming than the little purple sweater, so I WILL be offering my services to others. Leave a comment if you would like a silhouette–either of Stella or your own child/grandchild/niece/nephew/neighbor–and we can work out the details.  Prices will vary but it won’t be $3000, that’s for sure. And I won’t be quitting my day job.

My $3000 Hand-Knit Sweater

  • Posted on May 2, 2009 at 1:10 pm

I knit while watching TV–it’s the only thing that keeps me from falling asleep at the stroke of eight o’clock. I recently took on my most challenging project yet, a cable-knit sweater cardigan for Stella. This was my first time cable knitting and my first time working with buttons. The cables were easy, but the buttons look like a fourth grader sewed them on, because they are not evenly spaced. Oh well.

I expected it to take me about eight months to complete, so I made the 18-24 month size. Only two months later, I’m done! It’s too big for her right now, so I don’t have any pictures of her modeling it, but here is the finished product:

The details up close:

I’m hoping it doesn’t unravel in the washing machine after I wash it the first time, like my first attempt at a sweater.

If anyone wants to commission me for their very own cable-knit sweater, I estimate that the cost is about $3000, plus about $80 for materials. That is based on the estimated number of hours it took me to complete times what I would make if I were at work. Sadly, I don’t think I have a future in selling little purple sweaters.

(For anyone who is interested, the pattern is “Cable and Seed Stitch Jacket” from the Debbie Bliss Baby Knits Book.)