The Great Swedish Voyage

  • Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:08 pm

In homage to my friend and colleague Kyle, who will soon be moving to Sweden, we set out on Saturday afternoon in search of authentic Swedish meatballs, lingonberries, modern design, and cheap furniture and home decorations. We strapped Stella into the car and took off:

wearing purple, which was voted the best color in Sweden

Wearing purple, which was voted the best color in Sweden.

Consulting the map for directions to our great northern destination

Consulting the map for directions to our great northern destination.

Behold! Great puffy Swedish clouds!

Behold! Great puffy Swedish clouds!

We finally spot the tell-tale blue and yellow sign with the Swedish font.

We finally spot the tell-tale blue and yellow sign with the Swedish font.

There it is, the blue box of wonder!

There it is, the blue box of wonder!

I've heard that Sweden is obsessed with sauce. This is for those that like gravy a little too much.

I've heard that Sweden is obsessed with sauce. The Swedish Weight Doctor is for those that like gravy a little too much.

Husband: Where'd we park the car? Wife: I think it was in the $9.99 throw section.

Husband: Where did we park the car? Wife: I think it was in the $9.99 throw section.

A warm lowercase Swedish welcome.

A warm lowercase Swedish welcome.

Methodist Koreans in Sweden too! Who knew?

Methodist Koreans in Sweden too! Who knew?

Certified authentic Swedish meatballs. We took the meatball shortcut.

Certified authentic Swedish meatballs. We took the meatball shortcut.

What clever little carts they have in Sweden. Stella was amused....for approximately 30 seconds.

What clever little carts they have in Sweden. Stella was amused....for approximately 30 seconds.

GET ME DOWN, she says

GET ME DOWN, she says.

Testing the bright Swedish table...is everything so colorful in Sweden?

Testing the bright Swedish table...is everything so colorful in Sweden?

if you avoid the gravy you can fit into the rocking chairs.

if you avoid the gravy you can fit into the rocking chairs.

Beautiful Swedish gardens.

Beautiful Swedish gardens.

OMGGG GIANT SWEDISH SPIDERS WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT STEP ON IT MOTHERFUCKER IT'S GOT MY FOOT AHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMGGG GIANT SWEDISH SPIDERS WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT STEP ON IT MOTHERFUCKER IT'S GOT MY FOOT AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kyle has told me many things about Sweden but he never mentioned the traditional Swedish crayfish OR the traditional Swedish buffalo chicken wrap. Do they come with lingonberries? Where are the Swedish fish?

Kyle has told me many things about Sweden but he never mentioned the traditional Swedish crayfish OR the traditional Swedish buffalo chicken wrap. Do they come with lingonberries? Where are the Swedish fish?

We stop for a snack in the cafe: meatballs with gravy, mashed potatoes and lingonberries. I've never felt so Swedish in my life.

We stop for a snack in the cafe: meatballs with gravy, mashed potatoes and lingonberries. I've never felt so Swedish in my life.

Spongy little balls of meat. Yum.

Spongy little balls of meat. Yum.

Let me translate these signs for you: Leave your kids here while you shop! We've got Wall-E on! The second sign: Fucking Delicious Meatballs!

Let me translate these signs for you: Leave your kids here while you shop! We've got Wall-E on! The second sign: Fucking Delicious Meatballs!

Actually, in slang smaklig maltid means "bon appetit."  But "Fucking Delicious Meatballs!" is the official translation.

Actually, in slang smaklig maltid means "bon appetit." But "Fucking Delicious Meatballs!" is the official translation.

Thank god they translate their signs here. I thought this said "your bra is showing."

Thank god they translate their signs here since they use so much slang. The official translation is "your bra is showing."

And then we went home with the bright little table. The end.

3 Comments on The Great Swedish Voyage

  1. Brandon

    I like the giant swedish motherfucking spider.

  2. Kyle

    Another classic adventure by the Kings. I guess i should give you an update since my last visit: Apparently they Dooooo eat crawfish traditionally at the end of August!!! I ate Turkish, Chinese, and Swedish - of course the imports were better tasting (who knew Turkey had Crawfish?).

    Thanks for taking such interest in my next place of residence. I’ll bring back some leftover meatballs in November.

  3. LA Cochran

    Hey, Bethany! You won!! Get in touch with your address so I can get the All-Clad shipped to you!

    WOOT!!!

Sorry, the comment form is now closed.