This is the start of a new chapter in my life:
I have a new Mac and a new desk (from Walmart–I’m Klassy with a Kapital K). I don’t yet have a room of my own, but I’ve got my own corner.
I won’t say much right now, but I CAN say that it is very exciting. More details to come later.
It seems that every time I make a comment about someone’s hair I make an ass out of myself.
Yesterday at work I was sitting in a meeting next to a team member, and I happened to look over and see a single gray hair poking out of her black hair, in that way that wiry gray hairs bend and poke. I made a comment to M. about her gray hair “M.! You have a gray hair!” or something like that–and she had no idea it was there. She was heartbroken. She made me pull it out. She’s only 23. I felt like I aged her 30 years in my single little comment.
And then today, I was in the elevator and a woman stepped on with a cute short bob.
Her: “I love your skirt–I noticed it in the meeting this morning.”
Me: “Why thank you!” (curtsying). “And I was noticing your hair–it’s so sleek and smooth! And the highlights are perfect! What’s your secret?”
Her: “Actually, it’s a wig. I used to be a cosmetologist.”
Me: (gulpohshit) “I never would have guessed! I was going to ask you what hair products you use! It looks so nice, maybe I need to rethink my entire hair strategy and try some wigs!”
Just listen to that idocracy. I need to just stop talking about hair in general. Starting now.
Help me, I think I’m turning into a crafter. After completing the $3000 purple sweater,I made this silhouette of Stella to mark her first year:
The entire time I worked on it Larry made fun of me and asked me if I wanted to go back to Kindergarten. However, I am really happy with the final result! I even got some eyelashes and stray hairs! This is definitely not the work of a kindergartner. The cutting alone is at least a fifth-grade level! And the painting and gluing! Hello, I have skills beyond kindergarten, yes?
My plan is to do a silhouette every year for her birthday. And then move into a house with a really long hallway so I can line them all up.
This project was significantly less time-consuming than the little purple sweater, so I WILL be offering my services to others. Leave a comment if you would like a silhouette–either of Stella or your own child/grandchild/niece/nephew/neighbor–and we can work out the details. Prices will vary but it won’t be $3000, that’s for sure. And I won’t be quitting my day job.
I knit while watching TV–it’s the only thing that keeps me from falling asleep at the stroke of eight o’clock. I recently took on my most challenging project yet, a cable-knit sweater cardigan for Stella. This was my first time cable knitting and my first time working with buttons. The cables were easy, but the buttons look like a fourth grader sewed them on, because they are not evenly spaced. Oh well.
I expected it to take me about eight months to complete, so I made the 18-24 month size. Only two months later, I’m done! It’s too big for her right now, so I don’t have any pictures of her modeling it, but here is the finished product:
The details up close:
I’m hoping it doesn’t unravel in the washing machine after I wash it the first time, like my first attempt at a sweater.
If anyone wants to commission me for their very own cable-knit sweater, I estimate that the cost is about $3000, plus about $80 for materials. That is based on the estimated number of hours it took me to complete times what I would make if I were at work. Sadly, I don’t think I have a future in selling little purple sweaters.
(For anyone who is interested, the pattern is “Cable and Seed Stitch Jacket” from the Debbie Bliss Baby Knits Book.)
I went to the, ahem, plastic surgeon yesterday. There’s nothing like a plastic surgeon to make you feel completely insecure and ugly.
My visit was a consultation about two moles I want removed. Two little itty-bitty moles that really aren’t that big a deal.
When the doctor entered the examination room, and asked me what I was there for, I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought I was there for. Perhaps he scanned me as he entered the room, and sized me up. What is this woman here for? Nose job? Lipo? Boob job? Chin implant? Eyelid lift? When I explained to him that I was there on the recommendation of my dermatologist about getting a mole removed, and I showed him the mole, he smirked. I imagined he was chuckling because he was thinking “that’s all?” CUE THE INSECURITIES!
Then, THEN, he asked if there were any other moles I wanted removed. CUE THE SELF-DOUBT AND SHAME! I flustered, and started poking around my face for other unsightly growths for the doctor to carve out of my flesh. “Uh, maybe this one under my nose? Or this one on my chin? Would the insurance cover those too?” I pointed out my large raisin-shaped mole on my chest, and the doctor said “I was hoping you would mention that one. I immediately noticed it when I walked in the room.” SEE?! He was looking for flaws to fix. We finally settled on two moles–the one on my face and the one on my chest–with a plan to remove to others later.
Plastic surgeons are in a great position to up-sell you services when you have a consultation. What other kinds of doctors could do this? Oncologist: “I’m going to remove your cancerous ovary. Can I interest you in a hysterectomy while I’m down there?” Allergist: your test results were negative, but would you like to come to my office every week for allergy shots anyway?” Plastic surgeons really could get away with saying “yes, of course I can take that mole off. And right now, I have a promotion going on–buy one mole removal and get a nose job for half price.” If a plastic surgeon even suggested that I think about a nose job, that would convince me that there is something WRONG with my nose. Something wrong enough to merit surgery to fix it. I’d be mortified.
Luckily, no such offers or suggestions were made yesterday. Perhaps they’ll get me at the next visit? And how will I be able to say no?
The big surgery is set for June. Don’t worry though, it’s an outpatient procedure and I’ll be able to drive myself home. Cross your fingers that I don’t blow my 401K on a new nose.
A mighty fine caterpillar. She takes after Seurat, I think. If you stand back and squint, it really comes together.
I was driving along the beltway, next to a truck strapped with GIANT MISSILES.
They could have at least put a tarp over the weapons or something! Sheesh! Only in D.C.
Lately, my ear has felt clogged and congested, a symptom I just can’t seem to shake from when I jumped from cold to flu and back to cold. I finally made an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor. I went to the appointment, and thirty minutes later I had a referral for a CT Scan of my sinuses. All I wanted was some antibiotics to make my ear better, but instead I got a doom and gloom diagnosis of possible sinusitis and a deviated septum.
I had the CT scan yesterday, and thank GOD they gave me the CD with the images on it to take with me. Thanks to google, Dr. House and Jeopardy, I was able to make my own diagnosis. According to the pictures, I have:
It’s not multiple choice. I’ve got all three. See?
And:
Also:
I’m going to say it right now: I refuse to leave the house with a face bandage on. I just won’t do it.
Check out the Best Kisses website. This picture made it as one of this week’s best kisses!
aw, what a kiss
Lately, Stella has been sporting a very nice emo hairstyle. I decided it was time to get her a haircut and get her bangs out of her eyes. Plus, I am not a big fan of emo.
So on Saturday we went to Tyson’s Corner mall and found Cartoon Cuts, my
top choice for my child’s first overpriced haircut. I tried to explain to Laida, the stylist, that we just needed her bangs trimmed (the $5.99 option), but she gave her layers, which ended up costing $15.99. Because every nine-month old needs layers! It was only slightly traumatizing and she barely cried. Plus we got a nice souvenir–a plastic bag of hair–that I’ll save forever.
Before the haircut, looking a bit scared
Snip snip snip
Ouch, the pain
Getting $10 layers
Grrr...I really don't like this
All done....5 minutes later
The important First Haircut Certificate. Yes, the stylist wrote 2001 instead of 2009.